The Hardest Words to Say

Have you ever had to own up and apologize for your stubbornness, ignorance, or self-centeredness? Recently, I had to look my daughter in the eyes and say the hardest words... “I’m sorry.” She had been trying to get my attention and I had completely ignored her. I had gotten caught up in answering messages, and in the process tuned out what she had to say. Of course, it wasn’t until the moment when I saw her give up trying to get my attention that I was totally wrecked and was hit with the instant realization that nothing else was as important as whatever it was that she wanted to share with me. So after realizing my selfish attitude towards her, I had to approach her, swallow my pride, and utter those difficult words. 

...and say the hardest words... "I'm sorry"

Those two words can be so bitter in our mouths but in life, they can also be some of the sweetest words to hear. Those words can impact your marriage, children, friends, coworkers, and quite frankly anyone else you come into contact with. When we must admit that we are sorry, it can evoke emotion that isn’t always fun to work through. However, in that process of getting uncomfortable, we can be made into the image of Jesus a little more each time! Here are a few reasons you should say, I’m sorry.

First, it dispels the pragmatic myth that we are perfect. It is easy to judge others based on their actions, and us on our intentions. When we admit that our actions were wrong, or caused harm to others, it helps us to have a realistic view of ourselves. It should come as no surprise to any of us that as humans, (sinful humans at that) we aren’t going to be perfect. We are going to make mistakes. Each time you say sorry, you practice humility that can help you to grow in ways you might not otherwise have been able to. Charles Spurgeon speaks to this by saying “If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him. For you are worse than he thinks you to be.” The big idea here is that we are all, even you, sinners who are doing our best to trust, and follow a Holy and righteous God. In the light of His goodness, we see that each of us falls short, and a natural byproduct of that is the need to forgive and to be forgiven. We do this best when we view both ourselves, and others in light of our true identities - human, broken, fallen, but children of God! Change the way you see yourself, and others, and forgiveness might just come a little easier.

“If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him. For you are worse than he thinks you to be.” Charles Spurgeon

Second, when we admit our faults or missteps, we can build depth into relationships that will serve us well for years and years. One way we see this is in marriage. When a spouse is able to apologize, the couple digs a little bit deeper well of trust. The fact remains, that when we can be honest about even the things we aren’t proud of, we can prove ourselves to be trustworthy in all things. This level of depth of trust can build an ever-growing strength in your marriage, and other relationships that will ultimately serve you well later. That depth of trust isn’t typically built on easy days like anniversaries, or holidays. It’s built in the moments late at night, or early in the morning when we have to share things that aren’t always easy but lead to a greater relationship later down the road.

Finally, it is a part of our spiritual growth. Matthew 6:14-15 lays out the principle in great, and simple terms… “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” Jesus uses this interaction to expound upon the section on forgiveness that is mentioned in the Lord’s prayer. He shares the idea that forgiveness received is forgiveness that is naturally shared. The idea is that when you and I understand the way in which God has forgiven us and separated us from our sins, the natural byproduct is that we find room to forgive those around us. 

In the second greatest movie of all time, Top Gun: Maverick, a pilot in the US Navy is flying with the son of his former wingman who passed away in an incident some years before. There is a moment where all hope is lost, there seems to be no other option available, and death seems to be imminent. At this moment, Maverick utters the words “I’m sorry”. He seems to get to a place where the only thing he can do is apologize. For the missteps he took. For the mistakes that he made. He wanted to make sure his wingman’s son finally heard those words that he had desperately needed to hear.

My hope and prayer is that for you and I, we take advantage of every opportunity to apologize, and to do so as early as possible for the good of our growth, relationships with others, and for the glory of God. We are better together. Unified in Christ. Holding no grudges or ill will. Let’s put our differences to the side, apologize when needed, and Make Jesus Known to a world desperately searching for truth.